The new year typically brings on a surge of resolutions for well-intended and heartfelt intentions for behavior change of all varieties. However, for most people, studies indicate by the end of January there has been significant slippage. And by 3 months out, very few remain faithful to the promises they have made to themselves. Rather than starting 2022 with a specific list of “things I must do,” what would it be like to commit to a way of thinking and approaching goals that would be applicable across the board no matter your hopes for the new year?
How to avoid the (preventable) stress of a new year
Do you ever feel yourself going crazy when you have an endless To-Do list and stress and overwhelm meet you at every corner? You are not alone.
There’s no better time than the new year to establish a foundation for avoiding stress.
First, don’t do what you’ve done for years. Instead, try something new!
Albert Einstein has been quoted to say “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Surprise! It appears that is an incorrect attribution.
Reportedly, the “Quote Investigator,” has traced the link between insanity and repetition back to at least the 19th century.
Suffice it to say, many of us have been doing the same thing over and over again every year and hoping (fruitlessly) for different results.
Were there any goals you were able to achieve? What made it a successful resolution?
When thinking about making a resolution this year, consider something new – a mindset that builds a foundation so you don’t add to the overwhelm and stress that often accompanies the start of a new year.
So, what is this new approach to setting future resolutions?
1. Ask yourself why you want to take a particular action.
What’s the story behind the story that drives your desire for a change? Once you discover it, you’ll get to the root of your motivation and your success at achieving your goal.
Suppose your resolution is to do everything you can to get a promotion at work. Is it because you want to make more money or to have greater influence and more resources to get things done? Or is it because you want to have greater standing than a sibling you believe is the favorite?
Depending on the reason driving you, the odds of success may vary and the degree of satisfaction you experience may be higher or lower.
For example, if it is to become the new favorite, there’s a high probability you’ll find yourself chasing that dream year and after year. The goal post will likely keep moving, and you’ll find yourself exhausted by trying to contort yourself into a replica of someone else.
2. Be compassionate.
If/when a negative self-talk loop starts in the stories you tell yourself, stop it in its tracks. If it’s not something you would say to a child, partner, parent, or best friend, why would you say it to yourself?
The result will be deepening the grooves in a neural pathway in your brain that will lead to no place you actually want to go.
We always talk about compassion for others. Have it for yourself too!
3. Be realistic.
Humans in 2022 seem to be programmed for instant gratification. At the end of the day, there is no magic wand.
If you reflect, you’ll notice that which you value most takes work and time to achieve and sustain. That may include relationships, career advancement, raising children, a happy retirement, or being your authentic self at work and at home.
4. Be patient.
We often hear it takes 21 days to change a habit. In my experience, it takes much longer, especially if the habit you want to break makes you feel good or brings you happiness in the moment. Or if the habit you want to create is a drastic change in how you do things or the way you think.
Relish the journey. There’s beauty in it, just like there’s awe and wonder in a turtle.
5. Be willing to ask for help.
None of us achieve anything completely all on our own. Even with amazing self-motivation and a great work ethic, others have contributed to the person you are today.
For good or for bad and even if living off the grid, we eventually have a connection with others.
Life can be hard and is way too short not to ask for help, especially when there are people who would like nothing more than to contribute to your success and for whom it would bring joyous moments.
6. Expect slippage and don’t let it distract you from a focus on overall forward movement.
There are some people who seem to always be walking in the light. But even for them, if you pull back the curtain and get the real story, life is not a straight line. There are detours, rocky roads, washed out trails, and often 2 steps back when we make one step in the direction of our desired destination.
Though it is often challenging, tracking overall forward movement can be a reminder you’re on your way, even if you change your mind about where you want to go.
7. Decide what you do NOT want to change.
Or, what isn’t important enough to you right now to invest your time and energy.
The pandemic has caused many of us to reflect on our values, goals, and desires and decide what’s really important. Changes made out of necessity in 2020 and 2021 may be ones we realize we want to hang onto going forward.
Or, we have recognized the importance of our rituals and ways of being and been reminded of what really makes us happy or content.
Quote to inspire a successful new year’s resolution
As we enter a third year of a pandemic lifestyle, let’s try something new in our approach to a new year’s resolution. Committing to a sustainable way of thinking about resolutions may be the ultimate resolution of all!
“You have 365 new blank pages. What will you write on the first blank page?”
~Lailah Gifty Akita
