Life is often not fair. People are not perfect. Though everyone has the potential to change, sustainable movement in a different direction happens only when the individual wants to evolve. External forces and requests (even pleas) may contribute to a decision to make a change, but true awareness, internalization, ad habit only really kick in when the individual is ready. Hence, love as one why of anger.
How often do we expect someone we love to do what we want them to do, what seems obvious, logical, and reasonable to us, what would make our lives easier and less stressful? And when that does not happen or does not happen on our desired timeline, how often do we feel disappointed, frustrated, and resentful and then begin to simmer (even boil) in our own juices, i.e., become angry in the midst of love?
So, what might help us detour off the road of anger and avoid those trips in the future?
- self-awareness and acknowledgment of our feelings
- asking ourselves why we are feeling the way we do and trying to figure out if our anger is about the other person if it is really about us
- setting expectations with ourselves that are appropriate and realistic about the other person
- releasing the anger (often much easier said than done and sometimes taking much longer than we would like)
Take Time to Ponder:
- “Anger is the result of love. It is energy for defense of something you love when it is threatened.” – Tim Keller
(Personal Insight MD, LLC, PeopleTweaker, and Insight MD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are feeling extreme anger with thoughts and actions harmful to yourself or others such as physical/verbal abuse or acts of violence, find yourself self-medicating with alcohol, illicit drugs, etc., expressing your anger in such a way that threaten relationships or your job, etc. seek professional help immediately and call 911 if necessary if you find yourself in an out-of-control situation or have the urge to hurt yourself or others.)